I was lucky………..


I knew i would have to write this at some point. Knew I wanted to write it, knew I needed to write it.  All my years as a family liaison officer count for nothing.

At 23:40 hours on Friday 21st April  my dear Mother took her last breath and started her journey from this life to the next.  I cannot praise the nurses and doctors enough for the care they provided for her.  She died very peacefully for which I am eternally grateful.

But I was lucky.

I was lucky I had the chance to say goodbye and be there at the end.  I have not been that lucky in the past.

I was lucky that I did not have to say goodbye to a son or daughter.

I was lucky that I had the chance to say goodbye and not have to wave her off on yet another mundane day without saying that I loved her.

I was lucky that she was not involved in a collision where her body would not be suitable for viewing.

I was lucky that I had wished I had said things that I didn’t.  I have joined that club also.

I was lucky that after receiving a call from from my step Dad that my Mum had had a massive heart attack I made straight to the hospital from work and spent the next eleven hours with her until she died.  I was lucky that I had the chance to say to her what I wanted to say even though towards the end she was not with us.

I was lucky that I was able to hold her in my arms together with my Step Dad as she died, stroke her hair, kiss her forehead and squeeze her hand.  Tell her I loved her and that I always have and to let go, not wait on us.

As distressing as it is, not everyone is this lucky.  And as upset as I am, I feel for those relatives that not have been as lucky as myself.

There can be no life without death. Peace.

I was lucky……


About Walk the Talk

I have been a Police Officer for 20 years. It’s fair to say I have just about seen it all. I have spent my service working major town centres on response seeing all that life can throw at a human being. But, for the last eight years I have been on the road policing unit in its various guises. It is on this unit that I have seen life transpire to deal its cruelest hand. Both as an investigating officer and a family liaison officer, I have witnessed tragedy that at times I am at a loss to understand and at worse comprehend. Wholly committed to saving lives, this is the role of the road policing officer. As I have gotten older and realising that my emotional sponge is saturated I have looked and taken a very real interest in personal wellbeing and how WE can make our life experience better what ever we do. Taking the media of blogging a stage further I now produce podcasts on that topic. Join me if you would on an evolving journey that no doubt will produce a few surprises along the way.
This entry was posted in Road Policing. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I was lucky………..

  1. Brackendale says:

    sorry to hear this, Mums are very previous and always there for you. You have to think of the good times you had together at times like this. God bless you.

  2. julieanneda says:

    No plattitudes but much love and respect x

  3. You were lucky, as was your Mum.
    It’s a hard time no doubt, but you’ll get through.
    Love and peace xo

  4. You were lucky, as was your Mum.
    It’s a hard time no doubt. You’ll get through.
    Love and peace

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s