I knew i would have to write this at some point. Knew I wanted to write it, knew I needed to write it. All my years as a family liaison officer count for nothing.
At 23:40 hours on Friday 21st April my dear Mother took her last breath and started her journey from this life to the next. I cannot praise the nurses and doctors enough for the care they provided for her. She died very peacefully for which I am eternally grateful.
But I was lucky.
I was lucky I had the chance to say goodbye and be there at the end. I have not been that lucky in the past.
I was lucky that I did not have to say goodbye to a son or daughter.
I was lucky that I had the chance to say goodbye and not have to wave her off on yet another mundane day without saying that I loved her.
I was lucky that she was not involved in a collision where her body would not be suitable for viewing.
I was lucky that I had wished I had said things that I didn’t. I have joined that club also.
I was lucky that after receiving a call from from my step Dad that my Mum had had a massive heart attack I made straight to the hospital from work and spent the next eleven hours with her until she died. I was lucky that I had the chance to say to her what I wanted to say even though towards the end she was not with us.
I was lucky that I was able to hold her in my arms together with my Step Dad as she died, stroke her hair, kiss her forehead and squeeze her hand. Tell her I loved her and that I always have and to let go, not wait on us.
As distressing as it is, not everyone is this lucky. And as upset as I am, I feel for those relatives that not have been as lucky as myself.
There can be no life without death. Peace.
I was lucky……